Friday, January 30, 2015

Friday Night Lights

So I never played team sports growing up, not in the classic sense at least.  I danced in school and out of school.  I was in ballet at 4 years old, took tap, jazz, was on the hip hop competition team through high school and then was on my school's dance team and later captained the High School Drill team.  I spent a lot of time learning how to perfect my craft personally and then coordinated with other people who perfected their personal craft.  I could enter a competition as an individual or as a team, but as a dance team, you are still only responsible for your individual performance.  Dance is a visual and performance art. That's how I roll.

Now, being in a team centered business, I am finding that relinquishing power and responsibility to others is kind of tough.  Luckily, my husband played football in high school, and I love TV shows about high school.

I watched the entirety of the Friday Night Lights television series (5 seasons) over the course of a couple months. This is what I learned:

The QB (quarterback) is the leader of the team.  He calls the plays, he reads the signals and the whole team works to protect him.  Red jersey means you don't hit the QB in practice.

A good Running Back is also instrumental to your team.  If your running back and QB are best friends and have good rapport, you can make touchdowns in two ways- that's good.

Wide Receiver - They are good at following directions. If they are worth their weight, they always show up where you need them.

Team means you protect each other.  Team means you work together.  Team means you communicate when the play changes. Your successes are largely placed on the back of the Quarterback.  As a quarterback, you don't just have to coordinate with a team, you also have to call the play, be a leader and garner respect so that when you move, the team moves.  That's how you win football games.  It's not about personal best ever -- it's about collaboration 100%.

I get it.  A quarterback isn't the biggest guy, but he tends to be the most athletic OR the hardest worker OR the most respected.  He's the person everyone wants to work for and for that he has to be the role model. Being a leader isn't about being the best for you, it's about bringing the best out of your players . . . out of the team.

Day 13 reason my business is awesome: A would be ballerina can grow to be a QB

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Family Business

My full time gig is working with a group of high achieving schools in New York. One of the key components of any child's success is the involvement of the parents.  Schools make sure that every week, they hold a Community Circle, where parents and family members can come and see each class cheer for their classmates and themselves and or participate in some positive reinforcement based activity or competition.  There is a strong sense of "it takes a village" in those moments and they tend to be the highlight of any given week in a school building.  It motivates the kids, empowers the parents, reminds the teachers of their why.

Most industries in the business sector would not be keen on folks inviting their spouses or family members to come to business meetings or events.  In fact the idea of you working with or for a member of your family is looked down upon as favoritism and can be a huge HR concern.  (No one wants to get sued for being nice to their family).  For most, there is an internal struggle for where to spend your time (with your family or with your job).  So working professionals are constantly choosing one over the other.

For working moms this battle becomes a stretched out decision, impacting all aspects of life - pursue your career or start a family.  Rarely at the same time.  This truism forces women to take time off from their careers to raise a family, which slows their progression professionally. It takes them out of the workforce (slowing their accrual of retirement funds) and when they do return it's still for .80c/$1 compared to her male counterparts.  Family has never been part of the business world and for women it's actually seen as a pretty severe handicap.

The company I contract for in my own business has the opposite approach. With a foundation in financial education as the business' product, it's as though the idea of a community circle has lodged itself in the core business model.  They know that family is a motivator, a necessity of basic human relations and of high functioning teams.  People who don't have family, will manufacture one from their colleagues and close teammates. We hold meetings and trainings where spouses are encouraged to come.  They host breakout sessions for significant others to learn how to be supportive in the business both personally and professionally. Even at large conferences and events, you will find small children playing or sleeping in strollers because it is acknowledged that the primary motivator behind most businesspeople is the desire to provide for the family in a way that is bigger and better than they have been able to do it before.

Case in point, I went to a training event last weekend to learn how to grow my business.  In attendance: My husband, his mother, his sister, his cousin and both of our kids.  We ate together, we packed into a hotel room together, we learned together.  In a world where we are told there is no room for family in the work place, this is the only field I have found where family is the reason for the workplace, and they keep that ideal front and center.  God, Family, Business in that order.

Day 12s reason my business is awesome: Family Business redefined.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Smile- It won't mess up your hair

There is a doo wop group that rides the A train from time to time. They are actually really good.  They sing acapella and carry that kind of vibe that makes you feel like pan handling is one of the greatest treats New York has to offer.  Of course, they do want donations in exchange for a song, but if you have nothing to give, they always depart the car with "and remember, smile. Because it won't mess up your hair."  SO TRUE.

They say the best things in life are free.  Hugs are free.  Love is free.  Health is free (though healthcare is a work in progress).

Smiling is probably one of the few things that we have in abundance/unlimited supply and yet we hoard our smiles unnecessarily.  Dale Carnegie's Principle #5 from How to Win Friends and Influence People is "Smile".  Smiling builds instant rapport, and a way to connect with people without words. That means you can do it from across a crowded room, in the midst of deafening noise, with your hands tied behind your back.  It doesn't require any extra training - we know how to smile from the time we are infants, and if you have ever had a baby smile at you, you already know they are experts in the field.  A baby's smile melts your heart, changes your mood, and reminds you of what is great about humankind.

So why don't people smile more?  Are we afraid of looking silly? Do we not have enough to smile about?  Are we just plain old grumpy all the time?  I would hope not.  And if we are, smiling will probably cure those ailments. After all, smiling has been shown to reduce stress, increase productivity, better your mood, encourage trust, boost your immune system and make you look younger.  And the best part?  Smiling is contagious!!  That's right.  If you smile, all those benefits go viral!

So now, ask yourself, could I benefit from any of the upsides of smiling?  Do I need to reduce stress, increase productivity, feel better, look better, be better or form stronger alliances?  If the answer is yes, then get to it.  Or rather, tell your face to get to it.  I promise it won't mess up your hair.

Day 11s reason my business is awesome: The more you smile, the more business you get

Monday, January 19, 2015

Whenever, Whoever

We had an event at the office the other night.  We have been hosting women's seminars every month since November to build camaraderie and a degree of fellowship amongst the women in the office.  The office itself is a self proclaimed boys' club, so sometimes the women get lost in the mix, overshadowed by loud, inappropriate music, a lack of toilet paper and an air of condescension that tends to repel the "gentler" sex.

I always speak or do part of the presentation and the events have gradually grown in attendance and fun ratio to the point where no one wants to leave after we wrap.  We have food and snacks, wine. The male reps serve us for the night, helping us make sure everyone is taken care of.  It's a lot of fun.  One of the things I had the ladies do, was to close their eyes and imagine where they would be Wednesday at 3 pm if money were no object.  Some were on the beach, others were at a massage . . . together we painted a fantasy life to be envied.  No one said, at the office, checking email or in a meeting with my boss about x issue.  If given full reign of their schedule, these women were very picky with where they would be, what they would be doing, and who they would be doing it with.

Sunday I had 9 appointments on the books.  I knew half of them would reschedule or cancel on me, and I was right.  I did 2 appointments, 3 called to reschedule, 2 all out cancelled/flaked/hung up on me en route, and 2 no showed/forgot.  Today, Monday I was looking forward to staying in with the family, doing chores and preparing for the week.  I did one of yesterday's reschedules today and she was awesome.  Intelligent, cares about her community, well travelled and a self proclaimed goal setter and goal hitter.  I cannot wait to meet with her again to deliver her plan.

Another client also wanted to reschedule for today.  He's a loose acquaintance who I have offered my aide to consistently since we met about 2 years ago.  He has cancelled on me no less than 6 times.  This time, I think was the most inconsiderate as he was my last appointment for Sunday night (8 pm), it had been raining outside all day, and he texted me at 7 to cancel our 8 o'clock.  He also assumed that I would be available on Monday (today) to meet with him.  Granted, I did leave my family to meet a client earlier in the day, but the idea of cutting out more family time to meet with someone who had a record of disrespecting my time, was not something I was prepared to do.  So I didn't.  I told him I was not available (which was the truth). I cleaned my house and I tucked my kids in to bed.

There is nothing so satisfying as being able to 1) own your schedule and 2) be able to decide when you do business, and who you do it with.

Here's to living the dream and owning it.

Day 10s reason my business is awesome: I work with whoever I want, whenever I want.  Period.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Time and Money

When I was in college and nearing graduation there were career fairs held throughout the Spring.  Some were local, here in New York.  Others were in DC or neighboring cities just outside the metropolitan area.  One Spring afternoon, I found myself on the Chinatown bus to DC, headed to such an event.

The typical lay of the land for one of these things is you walk around a large hall filled with tables of potential employers, as they try to entice you to talk to their recruiters. They beckon with displays of candy, branded post its, and free pens.  As I walked from table to table I found myself in conversation with a recruiter from a small nonprofit organization looking for someone who fit my work and volunteer background nearly perfectly.  We spoke excitedly about helping underserved youth and providing mentoring services.  Finally I got around to asking the question: What's the pay?

What happened next defined the trajectory of my career.

$22,000

Holy cow.  And I would have to move to DC. And I would have to buy a car, and get insurance and find a place to live.  $22,000.  That works out to about $600 every two weeks.

But the job was perfect.  Helping people was something I believed in.  But, did I believe in it enough to trade all of my time for very little money?  Could I live on that?  Was that fair?  I mean, I was graduating from NYU a full year early with a Bachelor's in English.  I had great grades and a bevy of clubs and volunteer activities under my belt.  I was a catch.  Was I only worth $22,000?  And what about all those kids who slaved away in the business school instead of reading Chaucer and Melville for the last 3 years like I did?  Was their education worth more than mine?  Was their time worth more than mine?  I didn't want to believe it.  I had to decide, what was I after?  Did I go to school to make money or did I go to school to make the most use of my time?  And what was the difference?

I took that job.  I bought a car.  I moved to DC.  I worked 60-70 hour work weeks. And I collected $600/week.  I bought gas and groceries on a credit card.  I picked up a part time job.  I prayed not to have to go to the auto mechanic.  Not having money, meant I didn't have any time. "Free time"? No such thing.  I had traded all of my time for very little money.

Everyone knows the phrase that time is money.  What I discovered very quickly is that the reverse is also true: money is time.  Picking a career is not about how much you are worth.  It's about what you are willing to trade for your time. If I had taken a cushy corporate job, making $40,000 straight out of school, working a traditional 9-5, I would have had a little bit more money yes, but I would have had a lot more time. And the time, is way more valuable than the cash. By getting the money out of the way, I eliminated the need for working overtime and a part time job, the hours spent manipulating a bare bones checking register, the hours talking to American Express.  I would have been taking dance classes and going to church, and meeting new friends and reading new books.  You can't put a price tag on your time.  Yet, that's how most new jobseekers conceptualize salary requirements.

Everyday I sit down with people who go to work because they have to not because they want to.  I guarantee if you ask someone "If money were no object, where would you be at 3 pm on Tuesday?" they aren't going to say "at work".  We trade our time for money everyday.  But the most valuable thing in the transaction is not the money.  It's the time.  What we are all really after is the time.

I'm not a securities broker.  I'm a time dealer.  I trade in the one commodity that is truly universal regardless of age, creed, ethnicity, or nationality.  24 hours a day/7 days a week/365 days a year is the same ration for every man, women and child on the planet. You can always make more money, but you will never be able to make more time.

Work for 30 years,  and retire for 40 years.  Work for 5 hours a day, and be with family 19 hours a day. Spend 8 months a year on your business and 4 months a year on vacation.  My job is to negotiate those ratios. It's not about where and how you are earning your money.  True job satisfaction is about where and how you are spending your time.

Day 9s reason my business is interesting:  I'm a time dealer.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

The Hero Inside You

There's a hero, if you like inside your heart.  You don't have to be afraid of what you are.

Mariah Carey may be on the decline in her career, but the girl knew what she was talking about with that song.  I've been reading a book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.  You may have heard of it.  Dale Carnegie, the author is the godfather of self improvement.  The book covers basic concepts like smiling, being interested in others, eliminating criticism from your vocabulary as a means of connecting with people.  Liking people, and understanding how to make them like you is good for you and it's good for them.

I hate to say that this is something I need to work on, but that's truth.  Empathy is not always my strong suit.  I understand the Golden Rule when it comes to manners, common courtesies.  But I suppose, thinking about the Golden Rule when it comes to conversing and engaging people in conversation, in how I want people to be interested in me, to interact with me, I can honestly acknowledge that I never thought it mattered that much.  I will be the first to say, that I am learning how to like people.

I have been infusing the concepts from the book in my day to day work, comings and goings.  Asking people about themselves, making eye contact in the hallway, smiling.  It works.  It makes me feel better, and it makes other people feel better.

I had an appointment with a new client this evening.  The husband scheduled it, but I met with the wife because he had to work over time.  First appointments are always information gathering and finding out what the need is.  I spent an hour talking to her about their finances, what their dreams are, what their jobs are like and what they would rather be doing instead.  We worked together, thinking through their game plan for buying a house for their daughter (she wants a swing in the front).  It was a great conversation and at the end of it, I had enough information to write a financial plan for their family - or at least the beginnings of one.

This is my gig - finding out what people want and mapping a way for them to get there.

Zig Ziglar was right: The easiest way to get what you want is to help enough people to get what they want.  I just have to get good at finding out what people want - talking to them, being interested in their lives, being nice to them, building relationships with them, educating them for them for the long term so they can make smarter decisions and help them help themselves get to their dreams.  I just have to be the best version of me, and my reward is that I get to be a professional hero.  I get to be the go to person, the one who made a difference.

Day 8s reason my job is awesome: By being kind to people, I make my living as a professional hero

When the going gets tough, the tough get better.

Monday, January 12, 2015

God, Family, Business

Today I spent all day with my family.  I slept in late with my husband.  I put a movie on for my kids.  We played.  It was a great lazy Sunday to round out a weekend where I worked hard and played hard.  Went to some parties with friends and still made time for 6 client appointments and prepping for my week.

In this business, they tell you all the time that your priorities should be God first, family second and business third.  It's much harder to pull off then it sounds, but to me that means that when I spend all day with my family, I get to feel great about it. There is no guilt in thinking that my family is taking away from my career or vice versa.  I get to have it all.  I'm in a business dedicated to helping families be okay and along the way, my family gets to be great.

Day 7s reason my business is awesome: A Sunday as lazy as I want it to be.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Social Capital on the Rise

Life is unpredictable which means that people are very predictable.  This fact helps me manage my business if I just accept it.

I read a lot.  I listen to a lot of modern philosophy.  I study people so that I can understand how to connect to them, how to help them, and how to put them at ease.

Today I had 6 appointments and 3 of them rescheduled at the last minute. One had to help a friend, the other was running behind on errands and the third was trying to finish a project so he could get paid.  All apologized profusely and expressed how much they wanted to start working with me, . . .but for today, life happened to "get in the way".

My Coach told me this would happen.  She told me that because of my full time job I should, "Do all of your appointments on the weekend and double book them all, because you know, half of them will cancel."  I didn't believe her, and I made my calls and tentatively set my appointments spreading them out so I could wrap one and be on time to the next, and all that got me was a lot of dead field time ( I used tit to make calls and study CE but still).

Coach was right.  People are predictable.  You can count on them to choose the need that is right in front of them over seeking out the potential satisfaction of a future goal.

The best part is, this time was different from any other time I've had people flake.  In the past,  people would cancel, they would forget, they wouldn't be home when I showed up.  But this was the first time that all my no shows, very pointedly and proactively reached out to me to say they needed to move things around.  This was also the first time that I told people they needed to prep their paperwork and refer me to their friends if they wanted me to work with them.  I gave the impression that what I was offering was 1)customized for them and 2) provided with contingencies - a special arrangement.  It's like when someone tells you "they got a guy" who can provide a service you need.  I just became "the guy" (really "the lady").  I made their appointment something special in their mind - a way of paying special attention to them.  So when they all opted to meet an immediate need or satiate an immediate desire over planning their future and allowing me to focus on them, they knew an apology, a phone call was warranted.  If you treat people special, you increase your value to them.  Today I became a golden goose.

Day 6's reason my business is awesome: By edifying others and making them feel special, I increase my social capital

Friday, January 9, 2015

What About Your Friends?

The first album I ever played out til the tape was no good was TLC CrazySexyCool.  The album is home to such classics as "Waterfalls", "Red Light Special" and of course "What about your friends"

Network marketing is not for the faint of heart.  It requires you to step outside of your comfort zone, learn how to talk to strangers, and sell yourself on a singular idea or concept to the point of it being your consuming occupation. Malcolm Gladwell says that to become great at anything requires 10,000 hours of dedicated work.  Is there anything in your life right now that you could say you have practiced and perfected for at least 10,000 hours of your life?  If you do, then most likely, your friends and family know you as the go-to person for that skill.  If they don't then you probably 1) aren't as good as you think you are or 2)  are terrible at marketing.

In the networking marketing business, self promotion is the name of the game.  Because the business model relies upon word of mouth as the primary source of marketing and promotion, most firms will tell you point blank that you need to start with your warm market and run a viral ad campaign for yourself through your personal networks.

I was never what you would call a social dynamo.  I never had thousands and thousands of friends on Facebook, and I only jumped on Twitter about a year ago.  Even growing up in school, I wouldn't say I was popular or "that girl". But, one thing that I have always been proud of is my close circle of true and reliable friends.

When I joined this business I reached out to my warm market (consisting mostly of friends of friends and family and loose associations, acquaintances.  I made those initial calls and asked for help.  I introduced people to the concept, I asked for referrals.  I did have some successes.  The most success to date stems from referrals from my sister, who is by far my #1 fan and closest friend (next to my husband).  But what I soon realized is that anyone who can't tell you to your face that they think you are wrong, is not your friend at all.

I've had people sit and listen to me (humor me really) and then refuse to return my phone calls, or write me off as naive.  But, I know that even though I may be working on hundreds of hours of experience right now, by the time I get to 10,000 all those naysayers will be long gone and me and all my real friends are gonna be living the dream.  It's not their fault.  They just don't get it. TLC says:
What about your friends. Will they stand their ground. Will they let you down again . What about your friends, are they gonna be low down. Will they ever be around or turn their backs on you.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca said it another way:
One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood. 
Day 5's reason my business is awesome: You find the people that "get" you

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Goal Setting and Goal Hitting

I listen to a lot of nonfiction audio these days, especially when it comes to business advice. Now, I can't recall where I heard this little tidbit, but it warrants sharing:

Write something about the impact of your business everyday. And if you don't have anything interesting to write about, get into another business. 

 It's a new year and I have (like most of us) great aspirations for 2015, so this blog is now officially taking a turn to capture the experience of me going from working for the man to working for this woman.

 Day 4: Today is Thursday, day 4 of work after a long 2 week Winter Break spent eating, sleeping and enjoying time with my family. One of the things that my husband and I have committed to is keeping a sleeping schedule (Up by 6:30am and bed by 11pm). The bed by 11 pm is the most important because the sleep is what gets you through all the other goals we have set for the day ahead.

Typical of a post vacation work week, Monday was great. Tuesday was good. Wednesday was rough and today I got up at 7:20. --We are starting to lose some steam here people. Now, the great thing about my business is that I am surrounded by people that want me to be successful. I work in the financial services business through a network marketing firm and so all of my mentors and coaches are personally financially invested in my success in order to fuel their own. This is great.  The other thing is my job is centered around building relationships working your network - a great way to test the strengths of current bonds

 Awesome thing #1: Weekly trainings and motivational sessions. Every Wednesday night I go to a training where local representatives get together and work on getting better. Yesterday we focused on building rapport with clients, doing what's right 100% of the time, and some principles that could best be descried as good ol' karma: Do for others and the rest takes care of itself. That is a great thing to have as a staple in your career and business life - steadfast morals and a foundation of integrity that is upheld throughout the organization.

 Awesome thing #2: I get to influence people I never would have met if not for this business. One of my goals for the year is to make 16 appointments for myself every week. Any person who has ever worked in sales knows that you don't set appointments without making calls. And every salesperson also knows that no one likes making calls. Hence, the need for concrete and specific goals. I set my goal for making 60 calls between Monday and Wednesday (20 calls/day). Now because I only have 2 hours a day scheduled to make my calls, I do have to make the most of that time. I use a homegrown lead management system to track my numbers and keep up with prospects as I go, and in December on average I could do 20 calls/hour and set 20% of those people for appointments. Yesterday, I started 30 minutes late and ended an hour early (for those of you not picking up on the math, I only made 30 minutes worth of calls).

The great news is Parkinson's law holds true:
Work expands so as to fill the time available for completion 
I was able to make 17 calls in those 30 minutes!! The truly significant thing was call  number 17. I was not expecting call number 17 to answer but he did. The gentleman is a member of my church and we spoke for an hour about the changes at the church, what it means to be a Christian and how we could support each other (I'm going to help him edit a book of inspirational writings).  As the conversation ended, he told me to go home and give my husband a big hug and kiss, because having someone in your corner is invaluable and you want to make sure they know that "while their eyes are open".  I heeded this very sound advice.

So Day 4's reason my business is awesome: You get more than one corner man. Even Eagles need a push.